Failed manga pages
Failed pages for "Lifeless". I put alot of enthusiasm into these pages since I believed that I was close to finally starting something that I've been training my whole life for. But alot of issues came up with how I approached my first chapter and I realised it's alot harder than I thought. So in the end I had to redo all of it.
I had many concerns with these pages since I didn't give enough thought to the background and what sort of era it is situated.
Page 2 was overly too complicated and it didn't show clearly of how the place actually look as a whole. Though I did want to show it as a busy place, too much detail crambed in made it look messy.
The transaction from scene to scene was really messy. The flow of the story at the beginning is always hard to pull off >< Well thats what I think anyway :3
A whole scene was replaced and redone, the whole story itself was genuinely messy and the flow was really embarresingly bad. It's all cause I really wanted to create a short clean intro story in the first chapter under 30 pages. Which is not gonna happen, after deciding that limiting my first chapter to 30 was a bad plan and with some careful planning, my first chapter may even come up to 80 pages -_-;
By the way, does anyone know what is Trackback for?
I had many concerns with these pages since I didn't give enough thought to the background and what sort of era it is situated.
Page 2 was overly too complicated and it didn't show clearly of how the place actually look as a whole. Though I did want to show it as a busy place, too much detail crambed in made it look messy.
The transaction from scene to scene was really messy. The flow of the story at the beginning is always hard to pull off >< Well thats what I think anyway :3
A whole scene was replaced and redone, the whole story itself was genuinely messy and the flow was really embarresingly bad. It's all cause I really wanted to create a short clean intro story in the first chapter under 30 pages. Which is not gonna happen, after deciding that limiting my first chapter to 30 was a bad plan and with some careful planning, my first chapter may even come up to 80 pages -_-;
By the way, does anyone know what is Trackback for?
Post a comment
These storyboards and samples you've posted are really cool, Kit, even you don't liking the result so much. Yeh, I think that it would be good to think a little more the background an era a little more, ye know, to establish what sort of references you want to see in the story, so people will can easily identify it. It's clear that you are using modern and medieval references, but sometimes it appears more one than another this is not necessarily bad, it will only depend on what you have planed for your story. :3
About the transaction between scenes, it seems that the first transition is a flashback, but when it back to the present, is just a little confused, since Minna and Rose are shown already together ^^; Perhaps it would be better to add one or two panels after the flashback, before to go to the scene in the tea house. The scene four, when Minna ask the armored guy for info, seams to be a big jump in the script, is as if it lacks a scene before it. But, well, I am just commenting based on what I see, so don't take my comments so serious, since it would need to read the dialogues to judge better. >///>
But I can say two things for sure: 1- the flow of the scenes, I mean, the narrative, I disagree of you when you say that it's bad. At least in my humble opinion, it is good, and I understand what you said to me on your note about mangas. I agree with you, and I think that making a manga is like to make a film, and I must say you conduct the scenes pretty well, just like a film-maker. ^^ Yet again, it will be much more clear to judge and comment when reading the dialogues - but I understand that you don't want to post it at this moment. 2- The relations between characters and the way you introduce them to us is great, it's a true pleasure to follow them through the stories. They're very curious and captivating, and I must say I'm starting to become a fan of Rose and her attitude X'D
The drawing style I won't comment, since I am a fan of your art since... ever! XD
Still about your storytelling, I think you are a little like me about that, I mean, you like to see your story flowing through many pages rather than confining the narrative and being always so objective like what we see in American comics, for example. 80 pages for a chapter seems to be good, but since you are producing a manga book, you must remember of the medium you are willing to publish it on - is it a single book, a series, a graphic novel...? This doesn't happens on webcomics, for example, when you don't have any limits for number of pages, formats and standards. I'm not trying to influence you, just trying to compare different kinds of medium.
I like it all, man, you're doing quite good :) Please, forgive my bad English and if I am just talking bs here, or talking things that you already know about. >///<
About the transaction between scenes, it seems that the first transition is a flashback, but when it back to the present, is just a little confused, since Minna and Rose are shown already together ^^; Perhaps it would be better to add one or two panels after the flashback, before to go to the scene in the tea house. The scene four, when Minna ask the armored guy for info, seams to be a big jump in the script, is as if it lacks a scene before it. But, well, I am just commenting based on what I see, so don't take my comments so serious, since it would need to read the dialogues to judge better. >///>
But I can say two things for sure: 1- the flow of the scenes, I mean, the narrative, I disagree of you when you say that it's bad. At least in my humble opinion, it is good, and I understand what you said to me on your note about mangas. I agree with you, and I think that making a manga is like to make a film, and I must say you conduct the scenes pretty well, just like a film-maker. ^^ Yet again, it will be much more clear to judge and comment when reading the dialogues - but I understand that you don't want to post it at this moment. 2- The relations between characters and the way you introduce them to us is great, it's a true pleasure to follow them through the stories. They're very curious and captivating, and I must say I'm starting to become a fan of Rose and her attitude X'D
The drawing style I won't comment, since I am a fan of your art since... ever! XD
Still about your storytelling, I think you are a little like me about that, I mean, you like to see your story flowing through many pages rather than confining the narrative and being always so objective like what we see in American comics, for example. 80 pages for a chapter seems to be good, but since you are producing a manga book, you must remember of the medium you are willing to publish it on - is it a single book, a series, a graphic novel...? This doesn't happens on webcomics, for example, when you don't have any limits for number of pages, formats and standards. I'm not trying to influence you, just trying to compare different kinds of medium.
I like it all, man, you're doing quite good :) Please, forgive my bad English and if I am just talking bs here, or talking things that you already know about. >///<
On the mark!
Thank you so much taking the time to comment Rod ^^
You were right on the mark! The environment needed alot more work since I needed more detail on what kind of world that they lived in. I've already decided on a theme but I still need alot of references. The flash backs were definately an issue and they were replaced with a more simplier solution now that I'm working on more than 30 pages. Because the scene where the 2 have met was abit rushed and I would have liked the reunion to have more feeling.
I'm happy you think that my narrative was of a good standard. I had alot of problems since I wanted to show so much, I also wanted moments to slow down to give an edge at certain parts of the chapter.
I've always decided that I wanted to distribute my manga as a book, the internet would have been one of my options if I knew more about computers and web designing. It would have been an easier way to get my work to people.
I am having alot of issues with my story at the moment, even though it has beggining, middle and end, there are alot of things needed to be sorted.
Your english is absolutely fine Rod ^^ I'm an embarressment since my grammer is extremely bad, I was not taught the simple basic with the english literature.
You were right on the mark! The environment needed alot more work since I needed more detail on what kind of world that they lived in. I've already decided on a theme but I still need alot of references. The flash backs were definately an issue and they were replaced with a more simplier solution now that I'm working on more than 30 pages. Because the scene where the 2 have met was abit rushed and I would have liked the reunion to have more feeling.
I'm happy you think that my narrative was of a good standard. I had alot of problems since I wanted to show so much, I also wanted moments to slow down to give an edge at certain parts of the chapter.
I've always decided that I wanted to distribute my manga as a book, the internet would have been one of my options if I knew more about computers and web designing. It would have been an easier way to get my work to people.
I am having alot of issues with my story at the moment, even though it has beggining, middle and end, there are alot of things needed to be sorted.
Your english is absolutely fine Rod ^^ I'm an embarressment since my grammer is extremely bad, I was not taught the simple basic with the english literature.
